Setting: My mom’s turning 50, my grandmother’s turning 80, and Christmas stuck itself somewhere in the middle.
Question: How can we celebrate all three events in a meaningful way?
Answer: Throw a HELLA big party (think wedding reception, without the “wedding”)
Problem: Well… Who’s gonna set it up?
After near-endless cooking, cleaning, shopping, planning, whining, sleeping, and more cooking, the 50/80/Christmas foodfest is just about ready. If I don’t fall asleep halfway through, I think it might actually be pretty sick…
Happy Birthday Mom, Happy Birthday Obaachan, and Merry Christmas everyone.
P.S. I met up with Katt after finishing my housework - not gonna lie, I haven’t been happier since school let out (sorry Kevin). It was a quirky night, with life talks and random shizz intermixed between make-your-own pizza madness, but I can’t imagine it being any better. Five months is waaay too long for anything but summer vacation. ILY, Maya =].
P.P.S.: Katt - you’re dad’s hella chill. Lemme know if you wanna trade.
P.P.P.S.: Rello’s up?! Whaaaaat?! Have fun in LA!
P.P.P.P.S.: Kevin- your face; my back. Go to sleep.
I’ve been up for a good 1 1/2 days, but I need to write this before I forget:
I had a long talk with my mom this morning about work, college, and friends and life. Our conversation alternated from light-heartedness to intense and back again, revealing a new, more personal mom that I’ve never seen before. Iono, for the past 18 years I’ve always interacted with my mom as, well, a “mom” - the caretaker, the problem-solver, the all-aspiring person. However, our relationship has become much less formal over the past week, and I feel I can tell her things now that I would usually discuss with my sister or my close friends.. I won’t lie, the personality shift felt really - nah, HELLA - weird for the first few days, but it’s become more natural the longer I’ve been around it, and it’s definitely one of the best things that’s happened to me since I’ve been in college.
Summarizing everything my mom and I talked about this morning is pretty much impossible, but we basically talked about how friendships, no matter how strong, don’t always measure up when tested. At the end of the day, there’s a very small percentage of the people you know who will help you when you need it most, but those people are the people you should surround yourself with. Anyways, rambling aside, the whole point of this post was to pay homage to my closest friends. Here it is:
Kevin approached me when others avoided eye contact.
George accepted me when rumors destroyed my reputation.
Katt validated me when I questioned my self-worth.
Jazzy empowered me through all of my relationships, both good and bad.
Sean inspired me when my art stagnated.
And of course…
Anna listened to me, always.
Thank you, all of you. I would not be who I am today without you - words cannot express my gratitude.
May you be happy and well
[I’m crazy tired, so I’ll edit this for clarity and typos later. Nitechaaaa]
Yesterday I planned to release a post about “Tumblr Abuse,” basically, how blogging is a great vent for negative emotions when used sparingly, but that eventually people get tired of hearing your rants and figure you need to fix yourself and move on. It ended with me recognizing that, in the one week I’ve had a tumblr, all of my posts have been disproportionately negative and completely ignored the amazing people, events, and activities that make up most of my college life. All-in-all, it was supposed to lighten the general moodiness lurking throughout my layout, and remind my readers (and myself) that my life isn’t the festering shitpool I make it out to be.
Sah, the predictable, cliche irony…
When I tell people in my dorm to “adventure” with me, their general response is: “Matt, you’re moving too fast - slow up!” Personally, I like getting up in the morning with a purpose, so that later, as I look back on that day, that week, or that year, I can feel like, “Yeah, I did that, look how far I’ve come.” Consequently, I’ve done my best to structure my college life around “doing” things as opposed to “watching” things, and I’m fully satisfied with the direction that ideology has taken me. So, in that case, WTF is my family talking about?
No matter how many open mics, dance sessions, or other interests I chase after, my parents stubbornly believe that my lifestyle consists of eating, sleeping, and playing with my computer. Don’t get me wrong, murking kittens on TF2 and getting whipped in Halo: Reach is a good 1-2 hours of my typical college day, but it’s not my life. I mean, if my parents won’t tell me, “Wow, Matt, you’ve really taken off this year,” that’s fine, but labeling me as the “High-Potential-but-Passionless-Fuck-Up” over and over again diminishes my faith in the “open-mindedness” they embellish so proudly. It’s sad, but right now the house I lived in for 18 years doesn’t feel like “home,” and I’m kinda sorta stuck.
Happy Holidays =/.
P.S.: Master Seifu Sensei SHAKEWEIGHT-Sama (aka Kevin) is dropping by tomorrow (er, today, in 8 hours). Hopefully we get an adventure going - I’m tired of this FML stuff…
My new favorite song, a reminder of something I had, lost, rediscovered, forgot, then remembered.
Dark, emo sh** aside, if you haven’t seen Bay Area Slang yet, do it now. Rafael Casal is an underground Bay Area spoken word/hip-hop artist who’s (a) hella beast and (b) offers most of his stuff for free. ”THE MONSTER LP” is worth downloading - you won’t be disappointed.
"And these would-be bullies screamin for they mama cuz they saw
A monster where there’s never been a monster here before…”