Whenever I have dreams of unusual significance, they often involve conversations with girls from my past with whom I had (or wish I had) a close relationship. Her name isn’t important here, but let’s call her “Christina.”
Christina and I are good friends. I have *some* romantic interest in her, but it’s more admiration than anything. However, she has another person whom she idolizes, and we often talk about him (at her request, of course). While his name is implied throughout the dream, I’ll call him “Ralph” for continuity’s sake. Anyways, throughout the entire time I’ve known Christina, she’s kept something secret from me in a wooden box in her room. My dream begins with me sitting in Christina’s room at a dimly lit desk, the rectangular box mysteriously in my hands.
Inside the box, I find odd quotes relating love and life to puzzle pieces. Inside of the wooden box is a small steel box the size of a pencil case sealed with a complicated locking mechanism. However, being the hero of my own dream, I open the steel box with relative ease. Inside the box I find a jigsaw puzzle, but before I can move any further, Christina walks in.
"Oh my god," she whispers as her eyes narrow towards me. She walks cautiously towards me to inspect the damage.
Naturally, I apologize profusely and try to minimize the damage.
"I’m so sorry, I didn’t see anything! I…"
Wracked with guilt, my voice abandons me. I quietly eek out, “I understand if you don’t trust me anymore.”
"Oh, you’ve definitely lost my trust," she retorts. I cringe like a beaten puppy.
I must paraphrase the following part of the conversation as I sadly can’t remember it verbatim. Basically, our conversation revolves around a similar vein. I pitifully apologize and insist that I’ve always respected her, admired her even, and she repeatedly emphasizes that I have just ruined our relationship.
"Ralph would never have done that," she mumbles, shaking her head slightly.
My eyes narrow. I knew Ralph, in fact, he was a friend of mine. However, to me, he was just a guy, a nice guy, but nothing special. For Christina, Ralph was half-Jesus and half-Abercrombie model. My distaste for Ralph stemmed not from him, but from Christina’s convoluted opinion of him. Moreover, it came from how I felt that her adoration prevented her from seeing the great qualities in herself, and, equally importantly, in me.
Despite my initial repugnance, I hold my tongue and rephrase my words.
"Christina, imagine you were in my position. Imagine that, for a second, you had a chance to discover what made Ralph tick. What they thought about when they were eating a bowl of cereal, or on their way to work. What drove them to be the person you admire so much. Would you take it?"
Christina pondered her answer, and as she did so, I became more confident in my answer. The dream promptly collapsed (Inception-style), and now I’m fully awake.
The dream’s emotional impact draws from multiple scenarios at SI, UCD, and with my family. All were situations in which a single noteworthy event unearthed suppressed frustration, infatuation, and truth. I don’t know if I made the “right” decisions in my dream (in fact, I doubt it), but I have recorded the events exactly as I remember them. Hopefully there’s some value in that.